I'll Wear Any Color As Long As It's Black

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Posted in / / / by Jeralyn on June 10, 2009


Freeman Alley, Michael’s apartment, Mars Bar, Cult of Youth, Death Domain, Tamaryn, Rex, Cult of Youth, Wierd.

Coming back from NYC is always hard for me. I’ve been gone about eight months but it doesn’t get any easier to think of myself as living here and not there or to say goodbye to my friends and survive on a steady diet of text messaging and future plans. I am not happy that I chose to do this, it is incredibly frustrating and weird to be living in such an obvious limbo. I don’t really understand the people here and anyone who I seem to connect with has plans of moving away (as do I). I try to ignore it or push it all inside myself but then on yet another dreary walk to work past the same boring places and no mentionable faces, it becomes a lot harder to avoid.

This is some obvious sort of post-visit-depression, which will go away briefly this weekend when Stephanie and Cara come to visit. I think I’m feeling so blue about it all because the past week was so great . . . reconnecting with old friends, seeing people I hadn’t seen in a while, witnessing a bunch of great shows — basically just watching my friends being awesome and being part of it with them. That’s what I miss the most.

6 Responses

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  1. melissa said, on June 10, 2009 at 1:37 PM

    well, with the whole “saturn returns” thing coming up for both me and you, maybe you’ll find some comfort with where you are…knowing that it doesn’t have to be permanent. i’ll be 28 in a little over two weeks…and i can’t say that i’m looking forward to it. i HATE change, but it’s almost inevitable. i think of locations that would really make me happier…somewhere large where i’m invisible…but i know that they’re pretty out of my reach. i wish that moving out of america were easier. i just hope that you can find some kind of comfort in boston while you’re there. are you looking for like souls? someone that you can really relate to? i don’t have that where i live…and that’s one of the hardest things for me. but i kind of doubt that i’ll relate to much of anyone anywhere.

  2. Jeralyn said, on June 10, 2009 at 2:19 PM

    It’s mostly just that I’m pissed I agreed to move up here because after living in NYC for almost ten years, it’s hard to adjust to life somewhere else especially when I know that the move (to Boston) won’t be permanent. So then I am in this limbo where I don’t really feel like making friends here, I would rather go to NYC and continue my relationships there, but I have all this off-time when I am in Boston…. and it’s a bummer.

  3. melissa said, on June 10, 2009 at 2:27 PM

    that’s definitely understandable. at least you have the fortunate position of being in a city that isn’t TOO far from nyc. when do you plan on moving back?

  4. Jeralyn said, on June 10, 2009 at 2:50 PM

    I don’t yet know when I will be able to…

  5. Lily said, on July 11, 2009 at 7:45 PM

    Oh man! You are breaking my heart Jeralyn! Wish I read this way before now-you are ALWAYS missed. xox

  6. Jeralyn said, on July 12, 2009 at 8:37 PM

    I love you Lily xx

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